從寫給自己的最後一張明信片開始

回來六周了~ 六周其實很短，但對我來說的衝擊卻深遠。
除了反思映證自己海外的體悟、重新適應台灣的生活之外，也開始準備開學、寫履歷、Cover Letter、找實習，也開始思考研究所的種種。各種人事物紛沓而至，有一度還焦慮到自律神經失調.....
有時會納悶自己剛重回台灣國土時，那種天不怕地不怕的精神如今安在QQ 開闊的心胸回到擁擠匆忙的島上後，好像又不知不覺地被擠壓了。而這剛好也是我再回台灣前最最害怕的。
但至少如今我仍努力在實踐答應自己的承諾，人來人去，緣分難得，要做個快樂的人，這樣或許可以留住會離開的人了。
重讀自己在Cairns飛Bali的飛機上，一邊大哭一邊寫下的明信片，很難相信自己當時有辦法寫出這樣的東西......XD 想想那時還特地選了一張Airlie Beach最有名的心型礁要留給自己~
每次看，都有點像是過去的自己跟現在的我素面相對，要我別忘記，曾經有一個很勇敢、很快樂又很天真的自己。

Vivi,

The engine stated. You just managed to publish the last post on Instagram in Australia. Earlier you were having chicken soup (sour n savory) with the Cambodians, talking to Yi, filming the last interview with Yi, crying in the car, saying the goodbyes and thank-yous to Thaeka and Yi, and then you were on your own again.
You felt nervous, anxious and worried as the time going back home loomed in. You were afraid of losing the changes and growth you derived from the trip or being strangled by the old culture again.
Now, I want you to remember the feeling of being fearless, invincible and powerful, the feeling of infinite possibilities. Remember the tears you shed on the way to the bus stop at Airlie Beach, the heat at Whitehaven Beach, the music and crowds at the bars. Remember how uncomfortable you felt about everything in the beginning and how touched and addicted you were by traveling alone and meeting new people. Remember the reef, fish and turtle you saw. Remember the anxiety of leaving a place or a person. Remember you just need to get used to something that scares you in the beginning. Remember you want to be a cheerful, happy and smiley person. Remember how this journey has changed you. Remember to follow your heart.

Vivi 10/01/16

Follow your heart.